New Staff Visits Halmonis! 2

Since our last meeting with halmoni(Click to read the previous essay), I have been asking activist Ppoka and Hang to go together to see flowers as we promised her.

Every time Ppoka’ curly hair came into my view, I was reminded of halmoni’s humorous comment ‘messy’ [hair].

In a blink of an eye March passed by and 16th of April, the day that we promised to visit halmoni, finally came. I was very busy on the 15th as I frantically tried to finish all my work before heading off to see halmoni.

However, our luck didn’t seem to follow us that day.

Starting from the morning, clouds rolled over the blue skies as rain started to drizzle down.

It seemed Murphy’s law was working on us.

Even though we weren’t able to go on our flower-viewing trip, I comforted myself that I our meeting with halmoni would still happen.

Before we headed off to see halmoni, Ppoka gave her a call in advance as usual.

“Halmoni~ This is Mapo calling, we are on the way.”

To the halmoni from Gyeonggi province, Mapo(Name of district where our office is located) was synonymous with Ppoka. Over the phone, we heard halmoni’s voice telling us that she will be waiting for us.

Since it was already my second time at her house, the front door no longer felt unfamiliar as I stood in front of it. A loud “Halmoni!” incurred a quick answer.

As we sat face to face with halmoni, we quickly brought out our gifts which included a small black handbang and thinly sliced meat. While she seemed happy at first, her mood changed as she scolded us for bringing such gifts.

“Something seems to be wrong about these gifts.”

If you looked at our faces at that given moment, it would have seemed like there were millions of question marks above our head. Without a single clue about what could be wrong, all three of us sat in obliviousness as we stared blankly at halmoni.

“The bag is empty.”

Picking up the bag, halmoni began to shake it down as if to gesture that there wasn’t anything in the bag. Playing along with halmoni’s unexpected joke, Ppoka replied “Oh no, I seemed to have forgotten.” in a rather believable way. Halmoni lightly jabbed at Ppoka’s head as if to playfully punish her. Halmoni’s jokes seemed to be growing by the day.

Halmoni headed off to her freezer, saying she had snacks to give to us. Despite our polite refusal, she insisted. The grapes that halmoni gave us had an unusual shape that looked like little eggplants.

Having never seen grapes like the one presented in front us, we all stared curiously while halmoni gave our uncivilized selves a lesson.

“These are not your usual grapes. They come from overseas, hence why they are so long.”

After hearing halmoni’s explanation, we smiled as we nodded in understanding.

The snacks at halmoni’s place were always limitless. While we were eating the grapes, our drinks never saw an end as halmoni constantly gave us new vitamin drinks whenever it seemed like we had finished our previous bottle.

“What will you eat if we eat of all you snacks, halmoni?”

“Thats right. Halmoni, I don’t want to put on more weight. You should eat some as well.”

The worries from the activists seemed to have come off as unsensible to Halmoni as she rolled her eyes and gave us a response.

“You really thought I wouldn’t have saved some for myself. Don’t worry about me. I feel more relieved when you enjoy the snacks that I give you. Don’t leave any leftovers and take all of it with you.”

Whenever we go to Gyeonggi Province halmoni’s house, it seems like we receive more than we give. Our bags are full with halmoni’s love.

Since our meeting last time, halmoni had gone to the dentist to fix her sore jaw that she had told us about. While the dentist had told her that there aren’t any serious problems with her jaw, her skinnier figure still worried us. She told us that she had been enjoying marinated crab. Hearing this, activists Ppoka and Hang affirmed to themselves that they will bring her marinated crab the next time we visit.

When asked about where she wanted to go for the next trip, halmoni didn’t really seem interested. However, her face turned lively when we began talking about her hometown of Chungcheong Province. Could it be that Halmoni felt homesick? Halmoni then began talk about her friends who were taken together with her from Chungcheong Province as “comfort women” by the Japanese.

“(After Independence day), I came back home to find that my friend’s house had been emptied. One of my friends had killed herself. If I hadn’t gone with the Japanese, they would have taken my father and killed the others. Who would sacrifice their own father? I sacrificed myself instead.”

After being taken by the Japanese at the age of 16, halmoni had spent 3 years at Harbin, China enslaved as a Japanese military sexual slavery victim. Talking about her hometown seemed to have reminded of the painful memories of her teenage life as halmoni’s eyes began to glisten with tears and she became quiet.

“What good is it talking about these painful memories….”

Tears formed around our eyes.

It seemed to me that halmoni’s hometown was comforting and nostalgic to her, hence why it was all the more painful and sorrowful to halmoni.

While I had thought that I had some sort of understanding to halmoni’s pain, it was impossible for me fully grasp the pain and suffering that halmoni had gone through as its emotional weight was far too heavy for me. Even now as I am writing this, the deep emotional weight that I had felt that day is still fresh in my head. Would I be able to understand more the emotional weight of halmoni’s pain and suffering as I get closer to her? What kind of person should I be to halmoni? The questions that I ask myself seem to grow as the time passes.

As I thought about halmoni, I began to hope to see more of halmoni’s smiling face. I assured myself that the next time we will go on our field trip no matter what.

Written by The Korean Council staff Jiwoo
Translator: Jimmy Chae

Halmoni waving at activists leaving!